Wednesday, 28 December 2016

Candle of Hope

Tinsel, bells, glitter, lights, sweet songs of praise, warm greetings between friends and family reunions, happy excited wide eyed children, anticipation, expectations, traditions, caring and sharing.

These words conjure up the Christmas/holiday ‘moments of joy’ we have grown up with and know and love. If you have been dealing with great personal loss these old sentimental moments of joy may fall upon dark hollow ground.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. It is a faded light that replaces the warmth that once wrapped itself around you at this time of the year. But there is hope because, like it or not, life does go on. It is a life off kilter, spinning a little sideways from how it used to be and you may find yourself hanging on and hoping not to fall into oblivion. But there is hope. You can weather the storm. It will be okay and life does go on. You will find a balance again. The world will always be a little different. You may even feel you have become colder and more cynical. Less tolerant. It’s okay. Life will resume, just a little differently. I imagine it is much like having lost a limb but learning to walk or write again. It can happen with the right aides and help. Everyone gets through this in their own way, so I cannot provide a formula.

It just happens and life goes on.

I go through the motions and I do have enjoyment watching the faces of small children as they experience the magic and joy at this time of year. It brings back happy memories of my children and the lovely times we had. It also reminds me that one of them is missing for no reason that we can understand. The sadness of that ambiguous loss is beyond words.

But life does go on and while it does I make the best of what I can and keep the candle of hope burning.

Thanks to Valerie Nettles for submitting this blog post. Valerie's son Damien was 16 when he went missing from Cowes on the Isle of Wight in 1996. 

If somebody you know and love is or has been missing, and you would like to submit a post for the Missing Blog, please email

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